Editorial Review:
In this important book, Dr. Laura Schlessinger shows men and women that they can have a Good Life no matter how Bad their Childhood. For each of us, there is a connection between our early family dynamics and experiences and our current attitudes and decisions. Many of the people Dr. Laura has helped did not realize how their histories impacted their adult lives, or how their choices in people, repetitive situations, and decisions -- even their emotional reactions -- were connected to those early negative experiences, playing a major role in their current unhappiness. For these people and millions like them, too much time is dedicated to repeating the ugly dynamics of childhood in a vain attempt to repair or cope with deep hurt and longings. Too often they use their emotional pain to control others or excuse their own inappropriate and destructive behaviors. Some turn to therapy, only to find themselves trapped in their self-pitying victim mode, robbed of optimism, confidence, and growth. Dr. Laura will help you realize that no matter what circumstances you came from or currently live in, you are ultimately responsible for how you react to them. The acceptance of this basic truth is the source of your power to secure the Good Life you long for. In her signature straightforward style, with real-life examples, Dr. Laura shows you what you will gain by not being satisfied with an identity as a victim, or even as a survivor -- but striving to be a victor! In Bad Childhood -- Good Life, Dr. Laura will guide you to accept the truth of the assaults on your psyche and soul, understand your unique coping style and how it impacts your daily thoughts and actions, and help you embrace a life of more peace and happiness. Bad Childhood -- Good Life comes from a compassionate and personal place. Dr. Laura also reveals some of her own experiences with a difficult childhood and what efforts it took to attain a Good Life. She writes, "My resilience has paid off, and I'm doing the best I can with what I've got." Now you can, too.
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Customer Reviews
Average Customer Rating: 
Excellent Self Therapy Book  2008-08-03
This book was suggested by my counselor. Little did I know that this purchase would change my thinking of my experiences in life. I would suggest this book to anyone who struggles not only with thier childhood experineces but also with life in the present. I have really decided which "wolf" to feed in my mind. I choose the one who is good, patient, and perservering through this life of other people just like me who make choices that sometimes dissapoint others.
Excellent Advice for the Path Out of Dysfunction Junction 2008-06-01
If there is dysfunction in your relationships or any aspect of your life (you, your spouse, children, families of origin), this is a must have, must read book. While not written for a particular type of dysfunction, the advice is cognitive-behavioral based and covers a range of criteria for various disorders found when flipping through a DSM-II (Psychiatric Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).
For example, someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) has difficulty with intimate relationships, anger and depression. Dr. Laura does a good job intimating the changes in thinking and behavior that underlie the path out of these issues. This is not to say that this is a recovery book for BPD or any other mental disorder, but it could easily be a supplement to therapy (the treatment of choice for BPD). Furthermore, if your therapist does not agree with the majority of advice in this book (no one agrees with anyone else 100% of the time), I'd find a new therapist or you'll probably find yourself in therapy for years on end with little to no progress. That is, your therapist is letting you skirt personal responsibility for problems in your life (including skirting personal responsibility for HOW and WHAT you think).
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, or one of its progeny, has become the treatment of choice for a wide range of issues that underlie OCD to drug addiction. Many people get caught up in their emotions and work to change them. This method is backwards. By and large, one's emotions are a byproduct of what or how one thinks. Change your thinking, and your emotions will follow. For example, if you want to be happy (basically an emotion), change how you think, and you will be happy. Often, changing your thinking is simply a paradigm shift (not always, of course...shifts won't do a lot for psychosis). Of course without CONSISTENT APPLICATION of these techniques, no advice or therapy is helpful. Change to a better life never falls on one's head while lounging by the pool, sitting in front of a TV or reading yet another self-help book (your thirtieth). If you don't APPLY these changes, your life will never change, regardless of who and what your spouse, children, parents, the auto mechanic or your neighbor does. That's not to say that if any of these people are abusive/evil (vs. sometimes annoying), you don't need to remove yourself from a connection with them. That's part of taking responsibility for your life/yourself. Sometimes applying these changes in thinking requires enormous effort initially. Withstand the discomfort, frustration and one step backwards after three steps forward! It WILL become easier and effortless with practice and time. All of these life observations and advice are part of this book.
As in most of Dr. Laura's books, a recapitulation or sound bite from a call to her talk radio program is woven throughout the text with added commentary. I believe this is helpful in personalizing the advice, as well as reminding the reader that he or she is "not alone" in their issues.
One thing in particular that I liked about this book vs. books in the same vein by other authors is that Dr. Laura gives better insight into what selfishness and/or self-centeredness is and how to change it (which in the end "gets" you more than being selfish or self-centered). So many books advise one to "get out" and do for others (charity work for example). What self-centered people have been neglecting is not charities, but their own significant others, children, jobs, elderly parents, etc. These are one's primary obligations and responsibilities and the first things/people they should begin "giving to" in order to unlearn selfishness and have a more fulfilling life. I can't imagine that a neglected family is going to see or feel a change in their spouse/parent (or their importance to him/her) when he/she ditches the golf clubs and spends Saturdays and Sundays at the soup kitchen instead of the golf course. Nor would this "window dressing behavior" bring about this spouse/parent feeling more fulfilled, connected or less self-centered. By all means, reduce your "me time" and "me thoughts" and give to others "outside" your primary obligations, but only after you have given to those who are dependent on you or make/have made sacrifices for you.
The last chapter of the book summarizes the steps necessary to make a big dent in your life and happiness level. If used as a guide that you stick to (i.e. APPLY CONSISTENTLY), you can't help but have a much better life. While I am less of a fan of Dr. Laura herself (some of her issues have issues ;-) than I am a fan of her advice, (which is usually SPOT ON), she too is growing like all of us, and demonstrates this expressly in her latest book ("Stop Whining..."). Nonetheless, this book coupled with one of her earlier written "Ten Stupid Things Men/Women..." would, in and of themselves, be excellent guides for anyone on this planet. They should be required reading for everyone, the latter especially for your mid to late teen children.
Mostly Good  2008-05-21
This book has some great advice but it is sometimes expressed very rudely. She starts this book out excellently, explaining how isolation dehumanizes people. I loved the first half of this book, but then it got too negative. Most people who have moved on needed and received some empathy somewhere. For those who haven't, find others who can understand what you're going through and hear you out with a positive outlook. I found how to do this for myself and others when I read a great parenting book, Between Parent and Child. I also received empathy from people like this at my church. Oh, and for those who say Dr. Laura is advocating turning to the Christian God to heal, I saw quite the opposite at times.
Jesus taught that forgiveness is essential; Dr. Laura disagrees.
He taught that there are times to cut relationships off; Dr. Laura agrees.
He taught us to love everyone, including Mom; Dr. Laura disagrees.
He taught only those who deserve it should be thought of as family; Dr. Laura agrees.
When she agrees with Christ, I don't think she means to. Minimal references to Christianity was in some of the quotes of real live experiences of those who have moved on to a "good life".
In the back of the book, Dr. Laura shares some of her family life growing up, which I found very interesting.
very thought provoking 2008-03-25
Dr. Laura really hit the nail on the head when it comes to my childhood. I have successfully "survived" my childhood as a product of divorce, manipulation, neglect, and mental abuse. This book helps people move on and gives those that have moved on a different way to look back.
I'm off the fence now...  2007-09-10
Before I purchased and read this book, I was on the fence, "Did I have a bad childhood?" Well the answer is no, I did not, at least not to the extent that others have had bad childhoods, but the lessons taught in this book in fact can help ALL of us to not take things so personally, and to enjoy what life has given us now, as adults. I love Dr. Laura, I don't alway agree with her, but this time she is just trying to help the adults in this country grow up a bit.
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