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Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life


Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

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Manufacturer: Three Rivers Press
Author: Byron Katie
Binding: Paperback
Publication Date: 2003-12-23
Publisher: Three Rivers Press
Label: Three Rivers Press
Number Of Pages: 352
Features:


Editorial Review:
Out of nowhere, like a fresh breeze in a marketplace crowded with advice on what to believe, comes Byron Katie and what she calls “The Work.” In the midst of a normal life, Katie became increasingly depressed, and over a ten-year period sank further into rage, despair, and thoughts of suicide. Then one morning, she woke up in a state of absolute joy, filled with the realization of how her own suffering had ended. The freedom of that realization has never left her, and now in Loving What Is you can discover the same freedom through The Work.

The Work is simply four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to see what is troubling you in an entirely different light. As Katie says, “It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.” Contrary to popular belief, trying to let go of a painful thought never works; instead, once we have done The Work, the thought lets go of us. At that point, we can truly love what is, just as it is.

Loving What Is will show you step-by-step, through clear and vivid examples, exactly how to use this revolutionary process for yourself. You’ll see people do The Work with Katie on a broad range of human problems, from a wife ready to leave her husband because he wants more sex, to a Manhattan worker paralyzed by fear of terrorism, to a woman suffering over a death in her family. Many people have discovered The Work’s power to solve problems; in addition, they say that through The Work they experience a sense of lasting peace and find the clarity and energy to act, even in situations that had previously seemed impossible.

If you continue to do The Work, you may discover, as many people have, that the questioning flows into every aspect of your life, effortlessly undoing the stressful thoughts that keep you from experiencing peace. Loving What Is offers everything you need to learn and live this remarkable process, and to find happiness as what Katie calls “a lover of reality.”


From the Hardcover edition.
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Customer Reviews
Average Customer Rating: 4.5

Helplful~ 2008-09-15
For me, I found this book helpful. Her 4 step process has stuck with me, and I hear her voice asking those questions in my head.
I feel the book has helped to bring me peace. Hope it may do the same for you.


This book is a wonderful companion to Eckhart Tolle's 2008-09-09
I have been working to become more present in my life for the last six years, ever since reading "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. His books, "The Power of Now" and "The New Earth", have led me to powerful insights into how I create pain in my life, but it wasn't until being introduced to Byron Katie's book, "Loving What Is", that the pieces really began to fall into place.

I began doing "the work" three weeks ago, shortly before my daughter went off to college, leaving my husband and me with an empty nest. From the first day on, I was able to challenge my thoughts of grieving and loss and see where I could go from this point on. I have been greatly energized by the process.

I also found it helpful to listen to the audio book in conjunction with the written format. I learned more from hearing Katie do the work than by reading it. [...]


Byron Katie is one of my favorite people 2008-08-31
This book helped to change my life in such a positive direction, I've bought it on CD (something I don't normally do because I can't stand audio books) and now, in paperback form. I've checked it out from the library many, many times. It really is *that* good.

I can't say I've actually done The Work on paper. I do it in my head (not something she recommends, I don't think), but it's just as effective for me. You don't have to read this book from cover-to-cover to reap benefits. You don't have to devote hours to doing the introspection. If you want to leave your past in the Past, but practice thinking in ways that improve the Present and Future, this book is just as useful.

I am truly grateful for this book's existence. It's one of the three books I'd take with me if I had to escape my burning house, simply because I sometimes need gentle reminders and it is very good at being just that. I have recommended this book to several friends (and burned copies for them) and they've all felt it helped them.

I hope it benefits you, as well.


On reflection... 2008-08-31
I first read this book some years ago and was quite struck with it, and for a while I was enthusiastic about using the four questions. The problem was that after a while I knew that I was really getting anywhere because there would always be more thoughts to be questioned and I simply didn't have the time or space to spend my life scribbling away day after day. Also the turnarounds felt a bit forced and nothing much changed in my life. The problem with this 'system' is that it isn't practical and that it seems to offer some vague hope of enlightenment; that one day you will find 'the ultimate' turnaround and then you will be just like BK, on cloud nine, never getting angry, at one with everything. This is totally unrealistic and not actually desirable. Maybe I approached it the wrong way because I wanted to 'get something out of it'. The point though, is that the four questions miss the point - whether a thought is true or not isn't the point, and nobody can live not believing in anything and turning everything back to themselves, and that's why I think the work is a bit silly and possibly a bit dangerous. If you want to read something more balanced and sensible, and in my experience a lot more effective, please try Come to Your Senses by Stanley Block. His theory is a step up from whether something is true or not,because we are so much more than just a set of beliefs or non-beliefs.


Loving What Is 2008-08-26
My shrink suggested I read this book so I bought it and tried to read it. I've only been able to get through a quarter of the book so far because the main message seems to be: "It's not what happened to you, it's how you look at what happened, so forgive the person who hurt you and let it go."

I guess that's a nice idea but I don't think that works under all circumstanaces. I mean if somebody hurt you very badly, it may be nice to forgive them but I'm not sure that helps to keep it from happening again.

I would like to make sure I take better care of myself by keeping it from happening again and just looking at something differently doesn't really seem to do that. I've forgiven myself for letting it happen but I want to make sure it doesn't happen again. How does looking at something differently do that?